Conspiracy Theories

A good buddy of mine is constantly cracking me up with his conspiracy theories and so-called scams. This friend, who I will leave unnamed (for obvious reasons), has a conspiracy theory for nearly everything... including everybody's favorite second-hand store: Buffalo Exchange.

We've all been there: you lug a four pound bag of perfectly good old clothes to Buffalo Exchange only to find out that you're clothes are not as stylish as you thought, because they only take one or two random items. (jerks) You're frustrated & you don't want to walk-of-shame the bags of clothes all the way back to you car, so when they kindly offer to "donate" whatever they can't sell, you happily oblige and feel like you did your good deed for the day. Not so fast. This friend of mine informed me that I had been majorly scammed here! He is convinced that at the end of the night (once all the lights are out, I'm sure) the sales people creep (my word) into the donations bin, tag all the clothes they said they "couldn't sell", and put them on the racks. BAM! Conspiracy!

But that's not all. Condiments. My friend is highly suspicious of any condiments and refuses to use them (think dry hot dogs and hamburgers) because they are "obviously" a total scam. Now this friend is no dummy. He is actually super smart and well-read, which makes his conspiracy theories that much funnier because he always has such sound reasoning to back them up.

I just love conspiracy theories for this very reason. They make you think, but even more, they make you laugh! And none are funnier than this one I found. My side literally hurts from laughing so hard. I particularly enjoyed this line: "We as a nation have got to ask ourselves, what the hell is going on!?" Check it:

http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/most-hilarious-conspiracy-theory-ever

But it turns out that conspiracy theories are really only funny until you believe you've fallen victim to one...

Last week I "won" my first item on Ebay. I'd had my eye on a pair of Vintage Frye boots for a few days. The first bid started at a mere $20.00 so I thought, why the heck not? So being the newbie bidder that I am, I decided to bid just $20.50 and see what happened. Automatically outbid. Hmph. Somebody clearly had a higher maximum bid. So I went for $21.50. Outbid again. $23.00. Outbid again! And this ridiculousness went on for something like 6 or 7 bids until I achieved the highest bid at a comfortable $34.00. "Okay," I thought to myself, "I could for sure pay $34 bucks for these vintage cuties." But the bidding history on the boots looked ridiculous. It was me, bidding over and over and over again, increasing my bid by only 50 cents each time and making it painfully obvious to anyone that I really really wanted these boots.

So I enjoyed my cozy position as highest bidder at $34 for the next couple of days until an email informed me that I had been outbid again. Wha? By who? How much? What the? (I had already become emotionally attached to the boots.) So I logged in and checked out the situation. A counter bid had been made at $34.50. Who the bleep was trying to take my boots away from me?? I tried not to panic but I had already started planning new outfits with these boots. "Ok... I can go a little higher than $34.50..." I said to myself, "I mean, they are vintage afterall!" So I went for it... and the same embarrassing bidding cycle ensued. I was out of control. Determined. Visibly riled up by this "other" bidder who had gotten all up in my business!! I was blinded by my desire for the boots... or was it my desire to win?... I wasn't sure... but win I did! $76.00 later I had secured myself as the top bidder again. Victory! I cried. And then, whoa, what just happened? That $76 didn't sit so well with me...

Days later I received an email informing me that I had "won" my very own pair of (red) vintage frye boots. Yay! Yikes! Whoa! Contradicting thoughts swirled around me. What happened to that other bidder? Had I secretly hoped they would come back with a counter bid and save me from spending all that money on a pair of boots I had never even tried on? I mean, I really hadn't planned on spending $75 bucks (how will I tell the husband?) but the situation had brought out the "fight or flight" in me and dammit I fought!

But then the conspiratorial thinking started. I couldn't help but wonder what would keep the seller from starting his or her own bidding war with an obviously interested customer like myself? The seller saw my bidding history... what would they really have to lose by upping the ante a little? Putting in their own bid to get me to bid higher... taking advantage of a poor, 'emotional' bidder like myself... uh oh. Had I had been had?... cheated... swindled? Had they just led me to believe that I was in a bidding war with another boot lover like myself when really all along they were simply conspiring to get me to pay twice as much?!? We as a nation have got to ask ourselves, what the hell is going on?? :)

Take away lesson?... conspiracy theories are only funny when they're not yours... aaand, I should probably never gamble.

But check out these beauties!!